TRUST; a tricky trail

22 August, 2018 (REVISED 2/8/2019)

I read a sad essay online today...a former friend talking at length about trust and friends and the boundaries between reaching out and protecting – in. She touched on many vital "friend" issues, stones...sometimes BOULDERS we must traverse to continue relationships.

Sometimes...it is easier to lash out,  go away from the pain endured from climbing those 'boulders', from the struggle to UNDERSTAND the differences between our own pain...and that of others. Our "egos"...a constant war within.  In our everyday lives, we so often rely on gossip and judgements - opinions that can get in the way - blind us from the REAL truth of who we all/each of us - REALLY are. It is SAFER to be a part of the opinion of the TRIBE; to 'gang up'...join the crowd...instead of seeking truth by relating to each other each day, and ACCEPTING each other as we REALLY ARE - IN THAT MOMENT....at any given moment. 

We all have the human ability to grow and evolve and be a NEW MOMENT - at any given time, while we breathe and live.  Gossip - hides our NEW TRUTHS from view.  Our daily reality...becomes mute, unseen.  INDIVIDUAL REALITY dies, replaced by  STORIES/OTHER DIGESTED VIEWPOINTS OF WHO WE REALLY ARE.

---FORGIVENESS...a bridge. 

---"I AM SORRY"....a sacred phrase....

Transactional analysis is one of many 'maps' out there for us to use to guide our relationships, our unsure paths as we wander about this life journey trying to 'find our way'. Do we function from our Adult ego-state, our Parent ego-state or our Child ego-state?

The literature generally states that we ought to have a strong Adult ego-state that directs our Parent and Child to come into play AS NEEDED.  So much easier said, than done!  The literature explains that EMOTION lives within the CHILD and PARENT ego-states of mind, wheras the ADULT is always a mixture of calm, intelligence, and a guidance system for the other two ego states-in-residence. 

Trust is not easy - it is tough; not for the faint of heart. Especially as we age.

Friends come through our lives for varying periods of time. We learn lessons; we treasure the shared Love and Learning. We store away – the laughter, the smiles, the joy.. and go on. Sometimes these fabrics prevail...sometimes, not so much.

Nothing is forever; ALL is a JOURNEY.

As I passed our mirror by the front door the other day, I literally snapped back to the reflection ….and cried; my Mother was looking back at me! Her nose, her eyes, the tired look I used to see as she slipped into her 70's, the frustration...before she passed. Let me tell you – that was a freeze-frame moment I will take to my grave!  I am NOT 36 any more - at least, not in the mirror.

A friend once told me...”I pulled my Grandfather's hand out of my pocket yesterday...”. Indeed!

Trust; a tough subject.

NATURE...prevails.