Lasagna trails; CoVID FREE!

Meatless CoViD Lasagna

INGREDIENTS

-8 rolls toilet paper (the stronger, off-brands are better)

-1 container anti-bacterial wipes (ANY brand Amazon has left)

-small roll paper towels

-5 small bottles alcohol (currently large bottles are bought by local hospitals to clean their light bulbs, underneath stairwells and the underside of rain gutters)

-tomato sauce (or ketsup)

-beans (all dates prior to 1975 are safe/ CoViD FREE!)

-9 cloves garlic (best from your own garden; ensure your neighbor has NOT coughed on the plants)

-onions

-Parmesan cheese

-small spray bottle

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Undo all rolls of TP; spray BOTH SIDES with alcohol till moist. Hang on shower rod or clothesline (only if clothesline is at LEAST 6 feet from edge of property) to dry completely. Sometimes takes a week or more in wet environments.

Take half of package of antibacterial wipes; clean BOTH sides of paper towels for at least 20 seconds to ensure lack of possible viral remains!

If you can't find tomato sauce on the shelves in your local grocery, usually ketchup will work. Just make sure you held back a few antibacterial wipes to thoroughly wipe ALL surfaces of the ketchup bottle (for at LEAST 20 seconds) to ensure SAFETY!

Fry up onions till black – CoVid doesn't like heat above 574 degrees.

Remove onions; wipe pan with several antibacterial; wipes - just in case your pan hid a few of those pretty purple things with the little protrusions all around them.  One cannot be TOO safe these days.

Rinse black onion remains with alcohol; set aside. (alcohol evaporates; let them dry)

Alternately layer toilet paper and paper towels with Parmesan cheese sparingly; there may not be any more containers available till mid summer, and beans.

Top with tomato sauce.  Or ketsup.  And a few more crumbles of Parmesan.

Lastly, spray top of finished Lasagna (and entire Lasagna pain including underneath) with alcohol spray. Several people have used diluted spray and remained CoVid-free. A personal choice.

Bake at LEAST 5 hours at a minimum of 500 degrees to ensure there are NO SURVIVING CoVid particles. They are pretty tough little guys. After all, they encircled an ENTIRE PLANET...in 6 weeks.

Let cool, at least 6 feet from any other food.

Soak all eating utensils in remaining alcohol for at least – 8 hours. (over nite is safer)

Wash hands between EACH BITE; SAFETY is paramount!

Do NOT call urgent care IF...this meal causes stomach cramps. Health care workers have more important 'fish to fry'! (They probably don't like Lasagna anyway. At least not the CoVid version.)

Incinerate any Lasagna remains – just in case you were BREATHING when you were eating.

Enjoy.

NATURE PREVAILS!!