100 years: a long trail

 22 June, 2021

(I wrote this on the above date but could not post till today, 26 June, 2021

Happy Birthday, Mommy.  You are now a centenarian! Wow, it's been a long ride...

Know that you are Loved.  Know that I respect, honor and consider myself blessed with the amazing genes you passed on to me.  They have taken me thru a few of life's corners - without which I might have fallen.

I see some of your beauty and strength in my child - how he perseveres thru life's struggles and always wakes up on the positive side of his bed - a trait straight from your heart.

I recall your strength as you raised us; your perseverance as you worked hard and long to keep food on our table; how you Loved and cared for us with all that your heart and soul could bear.

I see Grandmere in your smile, Grandpere in your steadfast ability to not give up, tho Grandmere had those qualities as well.  I recall your sorrow as you told the story of watching your parents stand together next to their home that had burned to the ground, crying together like lost souls.

I thank you for allowing me to spend time with Grandmere when I was in my early teens; I recall sitting with her on her back porch, drinking strong Italian coffee from her beautiful little demitasse cups, overlooking her large garden of flowers that she tended to, so devotedly; her plum trees across the driveway from the porch.  I recall the smell of her kitchen when she made her spring salads - the spices she put in her dressing that you passed down to us.  I recall the sound of the well hand pump in her sink years before she changed out to a more modern pump - how it sounded as the water came slowly up from its depths....how cold it was and how wonderful it tasted.

I keep in  my memory the early morning dawns as you and I hung laundry in the back yard in Lower Bank - how you taught me to tighten my tummy muscles every time I reached down to the basket for another piece of clothing; I recall how you and Pat slowly, diligently, built that $50,000 house (in the 1960's value) from a simple chicken coop.  My memory holds the warmth of your care when I had a bad cold - how you made me perspire with loads of blankets, PJ's and then would change out everything for another natural and successful battle with the fever.  

I recall the event when Daddy broke your favorite end table and how I reacted; a freeze-frame moment for all three of us.

I recall the bell you installed at the end of the house that called us in for meals and other necessities and how you insisted we stay outside and play.  Tho we moaned and complained, that taught us to be creative, taught us to get along and play together, gave us fresh air and sunshine...while it gave you your necessary time to reboot as "Mommy".

Your picture on Gabby, our beautiful Egyptian Arabian Mare that we took in Las Animas when you visited us at Road 17...how you Loved to ride; I recall your stories of your rides in Central Park, NYC, I can still see in my mind your riding jodhpurs and boots that you kept in Lower Bank.

Your picture taken at Grumman Aircraft in your welding outfit - holding your welding hat -your gorgeous smile.  

I recall your sad story about how you and your first husband, Nick Simone had such a close and 'together' relationship before your wedding, and how you did everything together during an era when women were separate and segregated;  and how that allowed you to make your decision to marry him, and how that situation changed after the wedding, and the sadness that ensued for you.

I recall your drinking, and the pain and separateness that it caused - for all of us.  But now, in my 70's, with my own "age" and life struggles around me...I understand so much better.  And I give you my apologies for the coldness I gave you thru those times/years. The chasm of 'age' in this life and the loneliness and pain it engenders...is sad, beyond words.  If only I could hold you one more time and ask your forgiveness for my ignorance of youth.

One last thing; I ache every time I think of all your birthdays that I did not celebrate with you as you so deserved. I am sorry. But today - on your hundredth birthday...I salute and hug you with all that I am.  I miss you with a vengeance that will follow me thru forever.  And I look forward to meeting you in our future - wherever and whenever that may be.

Happy hundred dearest Me-Mere.  Love and kisses forever. 

Renee C Arcuri was born on June 22, 1921. She died on October 18, 1998 at 77 years of age.

https://www.ancientfaces.com/person/renee-c-arcuri-birth-1921-death-1998/9094689htt

Danielle

Nature prevails....for infinity

..

TRAILS OF LIVING: Questions

 “Have patience with everything unresolved in your heart and try to live the questions themselves. Don't search for the answers which could not be given to you now, because you would not be able to live them. The point is to live everything. Perhaps then, someday far in the future, you will gradually, without even noticing it, live your way into the answer.” Rainer Maria Rilke

This came in my email today. At 74, I hear it's familiarity...”Don't rush answers”...”Think through the question before you seek to answer it”.... “Have patience with yourself”, etc. We've all heard different versions of this basic thought process.

But to LIVE this process – throws a new wrench into this more bantered around way of giving ourselves yet another 'tool' in our life 'toolbox'. ”One can NEVER have too many 'tools'! Harbor Freight has this understanding down pat! Just ask my DH.

Ms. Rilke widens, deepens, gives this process more power to enable us to find our way in life. After all - “living”...is what we do in this life, right? RIGHT!

Reminds me me of an old Beatles song...”Let it be”...INDEED.

Maybe at times...we ARE our worst enemy as it were; maybe WE are the ones who place boulders in our paths, create the hill we cannot climb, make our life-plate too heavy, make our lives more complex and difficult to manage.

I've heard biblical quotes that speak to this process; to be STILL so that we can “hear” answers, be quiet enuf to understand how the “divine” in us is guiding. That – INMO, for me anyway, is why meditation is so difficult; that “monkey-mind” will not shut up! It wants to RUN through life, and we follow behind like perfectly performing little puppies! When any three of my cats jumps up on the computer table near my keyboard; I get wound up and attempt to gently push them away with accompanying LOGIC such as...”Please – not now – I am right in the middle of a thought”...or – “Not now, I'm on my bank line and you might step on the keyboard and mess something up!” What I am doing is missing THEIR moment - which COULD be mine - if I slowed down - LIVED instead of ran.

Then I recall Hugh Prather in “Notes to myself”; “I am holding my cat so it can sleep; what else is there!” Indeed! Life is all about LIVING each moment; being at peace with each moment – NOT what we WANT in that moment...but just the unadulterated, “Thy will not my will”, the BE STILL NESS of LIVING - JUST THE MOMENT. And then, as Rilke suggests, before we know it – we are Living the next moment...and the next, and the next.  The point being, we do not have to run to that next moment...and the next, etc.  They come regardless; life stops for nothing or no-one. So pretty soon those answers we sought oh so long ago...are already here! Amazing how that can happen.

When we are “STILL”, moments/life fill in around us. Our way becomes more filled with wonder and sunshine and imagination and beauty and just all the “roses” we may normally miss because we “ran” past them. And yes – the “thorns” may become more prominent as well. But up-close-and-personal, “thorns” have their own, unique beauty...and purpose. Rain and sunshine...cold and hot...big and small, etc.

The bottom line being...LIVING. LIVE your moments. And maybe sometimes, we may receive “answers” to what “questions' you were totally unaware.

Peace be with you in each of your endless LIVED 'moments' today.

Nature prevails...

Life trails: Jan Verhoeff

 Jan Verhoeff died the other day.

She was a teacher, a friend, a blogger, a Mom, a wife, a student, a champion of conservative values.  Her honesty, kind and caring heart, her astute and discerning intelligence touched many hearts and souls.  

She will be remembered for her courage of convictions; she had a winning way of explanation and understanding that brought many listeners around to her train of thinking. As a pupil of her writing expertise, I enjoyed her writing classes and learned a great deal about many phases of writing, particularly with online ins and outs.

She wrote several books, worked many, many blogs on a daily basis - actually made her living in part, from them.  I was amazed, years back to understand that she wore through keyboards on an almost monthly basis. Writing was her forte - began at an early age and continued until her passing, a few weeks ago.

She also championed home schooling - was a part of the administrative end of homeschooling in Colorado, as well as a homeschooler of her four children.  Her children all went on to be amazing citizens, Loving, caring parents and kind spouses.  Her immediate family embraced the true Christian Love of family and the values therein. She was a "Mom of Mom's"! I saw a saying that was quoted as a "Sudanese proverb"; in my opinion, it sums up Jan's mothering to a tee: 

 "We desire to bequeath two things to our children; the first is roots, the other is wings." (1)

Her talents were diversified and wide, including riding and caring for horses, running small businesses, a seamstress of quality fare, etc.  She had the ability to remain calm in many types of "storms".  She was a MEMORABLE caregiver to her Mother through her sickness and passing.  She balanced pleasure with business, friendship with reality, intelligence with finances.  Her capacity for strength was innately deep.  She enjoyed cooking and eating; she found fun and creativity in her kitchen as well as in many other areas of her life.

As I write this, it is surreal to re-read my words - a seemingly fictitious story of unimaginable reality.  But it is true, Jan has passed. When I dialed her phone a few minutes ago, I broke into tears as I heard her voice on the answering machine.

Rest well, dear heart.  Know the presence of angels and the Love of your Creator. No more life stress; no more pain.  You are in our hearts and memories forever.

(1) Clive Cussler and Robin Burcell, THE ORACLE

Political trails: kindergarden "in session"

 

My rant for today.  But - you decide; is is REALLY all just "rant"?

Each day I awake and wonder at the changes occuring in the world today.  As a "senior citizen", I watch an already "alien" world around me - just from the normal changes that occur over a 50-plus year span.  All "seniors" have to deal with 50 years worth of changes in their lives; it is "reality". Therein - the "alien-ness" around us.

We are told to 'get with the times'...'let go of the past'...'grow up' (that's always a trip to hear at our ages), etc.  Indeed - just how much of the impact and 'reality' of your upbringing, your enculturation, your mor`es, your values, your beliefs, etc., can one ignore/change/let go of, before you are no longer YOURSELF!  And then - who the h__ are you instead??!

I have witnessed infantile humanness in the political arena for many years; it shows up now and then; after all - we are all HUMAN.  But - what I am watching on the current political front...for several years now...is more than deeply distressing,  it is dangerous.  Why? Because there are Constitutional issues getting trampled and thrown about like confetti. As the Constitution erodes...where goes America?....

Truthfully...it reminds me all too much of a kindergarden recess; Aren't the ELECTED supposed to behave professionally? Name-calling, all the EMOTIONAL ranting, the time/money - OUR MONEY folks, spent in Washington on who's right - who's wrong, etc.  What about American issues - REAL ONES?!  Like the messed up tax system? Like the national debt?  Like the no-accountability of corporations these days? Have you tried to resolve an issue with a utility or other large business lately?  IF...you can ever get released from the PHONE TREE...

But back to real issues, like the steady rise in prices - at the store, at the garage, at the parks, online, etc?  How does that match the extra 5 dollars most seniors received in their new monthly income over the past few years?!  You know... the REAL issues - the ones that address our eating and working and - oh yeah - being free?! Oh,  I just remembered...."get with reality, Grandma; this is the NEW NORMAL!!!".

This 'growing up' at 70 something is hard; maybe I should go back to school.  OOOPS...they're closed  now...to keep us SAFE! Back home...to watch kindergarden on TV.  HOME school...there you are., as my Grandmere used to say in her broken French accent. Now THERE was a lady with brains!  A whole lot more than I hear coming from...you know where.

But - this a a rant, a blog, a personal opinion; I can call life...as I see it. Unfortunately, there is a much bigger RANT going on; by a WHOLE LOT more people...back east; yup - you know where.

And the media?! Where is the factual, issue-driven content that NEWS is supposed to share with the people?  When I took my journalism courses in college, YELLOW journalism was a no-no!

Oh, that's right...I need to 'get with the times'...GROW UP.  Oh my, but I DO have a great deal of GROWING UP to do.  

I hope I die of natural causes LONG before I have GROWN UP....A SECOND TIME in my life. Once....was enuf.  

At least then...there was hope.

Loving Trails: MISS YOU!

 October 18, 1998.  A freeze-frame moment, for any child; the day their Mother passes on.

I held her hand.  I put a rose on her chest.  We were all standing around her bed - all 5 of her children.  A surreal moment in time...in space....in emotion...in reality. Life goes on.

It seems so long ago in my menory; yet...I can still 'be there', be in that moment.  When her breath stopped, so did mine. We all cried..a quiet, haunting cry.  Tho a family tied together by death, we were also - each of us, alone in our personal place with our Mother.  Each of us with our own memories, our own regrets, our own particular pain.  

But the grief bound us all together - to that moment. We all lost our rock; we all lost the person who held us together even in our disagreements and periods of not speaking.  She kept us tethererd to our roots, the genes that bound us to a legacy of strength and courage and Love like none other!

The years of pasta made in that large, dented, old pot; the memory of who might be the first awake the next morning to reap the treasure of frying up the wonderful remans in gobs of butter and Parmesan.

Her Pea, Pickle and Celery salad, her cole slaw in a huge jar that we worked at for days to finish.  Her salads with home-made dressing birthed from her French and Italian genetics based in pure olive oil, as only she could concoct!

We knew better than to touch ANYTHING in her tool box.  Our Mother not only raised us with ternderness and Love and caring, but also built houses and welded airplane parts at Grumman Aircraft during WWII; one of the only woman there - and one of the BEST welders! I recall a picture of her then, with her welding hat on and a smile the size of Texas! Beautiful; strong; confident.

I am the oldest of her 5 children; I always recall the story of how she finally put a safety pin in her regular skirt two weeks before I was born.  Her stomach muscles were just as strong as her courage and intelligence.  

I recall her story about skipping two grades in grammar school.  She wanted to be a biologist, but life took over. But her children became 'her life' as she would tell anyone who would listen.  And from the time I, as the oldest, was 13, she raised us by herself - working two jobs most days. There were times in my youth when I had her clothes in my hands as she raced in from one job - ran thru the shower and I literally helped her dress as she scurried back out the door, since she had so little time between jobs.  

She would have died an thousand deaths rather than ask for money to help raise her family. She raised show dogs (Miniature Collies) on the side, to help us eat.  I recall one Thanksgiving; there was little food in the house - certainly nothing resembling a Thanksgiving dinner.  That morning, a buyer called to see if she had puppies left from her advertisement months before; she had one - almost full grown.  The buyer came from hours away and bought that dog.  I took her to work that nite and used the car to go to the grocery store to buy dinner.  One of our most meaningful Thanksgivings!

Was she the best Mom on the planet?  No; there is no such animal!  But her depth of Love, her courage in the face of life as it was dealt to her, her capacity for forgiveness, her ability and strength of character to persevere and press on when her road  had the incline of a cliff - was genetic; and I thank her every day for those genes. 

Her sense of fairness; I recall one time when there was a chocolate candybar for us to share.  She so carefully split it into five even pieces. She never showed favoritism; always strived to Love us equally.

When we would go for drives in the country, she would point to a stunning sunset or an awesome  mountain range and tell us;  "That is God's work...HIS beauty!"

She told me once:  "Make sure you go out every day and give three honest complements".  I never forgot that.  And I practice it often.  Her depth of Love...

She taught me to enjoy books, introduced me to my favorite story - HEIDI. Which, as I see things in my 'rearview mirror'...scripted my life in many ways.  

We had our periods of "quiet"; when I was convinced she was an unfit parent...when I swore I would never stoop to speak to her again.  Yet - each time I re-learned a tad more about those endless life-lessons...humility, forgiveness, understanding - and - of the true meaning of what FAMILY, Love and respect... are all about.  It takes hard work at times as life teaches us to bow to Love instead of pride...humility instead of 'self' and ego.

Now, as I experience that age where she was when she passed - with the life understanding that ONLY comes with that age, some regrets linger in my darker shadows of memory.  The many things I SHOULD have said, the many things I so wish - I had NOT.  The many questions I now have about our family history, recipes only she knew, information of my youth, etc., of which I had no interest at my yournger age - then.  I understand now, the chasm of age that separates us from the undetrstanding that parents have, that AGE has - that youth does not - CANNOT comprehend.  One of the sadder parts of life.

I miss her with all that I am. I "sense" her sometimes...a certain word spoken, a smile shared, feel her presence while I prepare a home made pasta sauce;  'feel' her energy as I build a chicken fence or use tools to create a closet shelf...as I fondly recall that untouchable 'tool box'.  

I recall her wedding picture; she was a beauty to behold, tho I suspect she never really understood that part of herself; her humility and poise said it all.

Rest in peace, "Me-mere". Know you are missed and Loved...forever.

Renee C Arcuri was born on June 22, 1921. She died on October 18, 1998 at 77 years of age. 

https://www.ancientfaces.com/person/renee-c-arcuri-birth-1921-death-1998/9094689

Butterflies; free to come...and free to go their own way.

Your oldest,

Danielle

Lasagna trails; CoVID FREE!

Meatless CoViD Lasagna

INGREDIENTS

-8 rolls toilet paper (the stronger, off-brands are better)

-1 container anti-bacterial wipes (ANY brand Amazon has left)

-small roll paper towels

-5 small bottles alcohol (currently large bottles are bought by local hospitals to clean their light bulbs, underneath stairwells and the underside of rain gutters)

-tomato sauce (or ketsup)

-beans (all dates prior to 1975 are safe/ CoViD FREE!)

-9 cloves garlic (best from your own garden; ensure your neighbor has NOT coughed on the plants)

-onions

-Parmesan cheese

-small spray bottle

************************

Undo all rolls of TP; spray BOTH SIDES with alcohol till moist. Hang on shower rod or clothesline (only if clothesline is at LEAST 6 feet from edge of property) to dry completely. Sometimes takes a week or more in wet environments.

Take half of package of antibacterial wipes; clean BOTH sides of paper towels for at least 20 seconds to ensure lack of possible viral remains!

If you can't find tomato sauce on the shelves in your local grocery, usually ketchup will work. Just make sure you held back a few antibacterial wipes to thoroughly wipe ALL surfaces of the ketchup bottle (for at LEAST 20 seconds) to ensure SAFETY!

Fry up onions till black – CoVid doesn't like heat above 574 degrees.

Remove onions; wipe pan with several antibacterial; wipes - just in case your pan hid a few of those pretty purple things with the little protrusions all around them.  One cannot be TOO safe these days.

Rinse black onion remains with alcohol; set aside. (alcohol evaporates; let them dry)

Alternately layer toilet paper and paper towels with Parmesan cheese sparingly; there may not be any more containers available till mid summer, and beans.

Top with tomato sauce.  Or ketsup.  And a few more crumbles of Parmesan.

Lastly, spray top of finished Lasagna (and entire Lasagna pain including underneath) with alcohol spray. Several people have used diluted spray and remained CoVid-free. A personal choice.

Bake at LEAST 5 hours at a minimum of 500 degrees to ensure there are NO SURVIVING CoVid particles. They are pretty tough little guys. After all, they encircled an ENTIRE PLANET...in 6 weeks.

Let cool, at least 6 feet from any other food.

Soak all eating utensils in remaining alcohol for at least – 8 hours. (over nite is safer)

Wash hands between EACH BITE; SAFETY is paramount!

Do NOT call urgent care IF...this meal causes stomach cramps. Health care workers have more important 'fish to fry'! (They probably don't like Lasagna anyway. At least not the CoVid version.)

Incinerate any Lasagna remains – just in case you were BREATHING when you were eating.

Enjoy.

NATURE PREVAILS!!

LOCKDOWN: ANY OPEN TRAILS AHEAD?

15 May, 2020

A lengthy article that covers many aspects of the political and CDC viewpoints.
https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/powerpost/paloma/the-health-202/2020/05/13/the-health-202-most-states-lifting-coronavirus-lockdowns-haven-t-met-federal-guidelines-for-reopening/5ebaaf55602ff11bb117afb5/

State by state short info blurbs on lifting restrictions.
https://www.usatoday.com/storytelling/coronavirus-reopening-america-map/

Interesting info on long-term Covid 19 cases. This virus appears to be one of - 'do what I want to the body - when I want and how I want'. Scarey!
https://www.theguardian.com/world/2020/may/15/weird-hell-professor-advent-calendar-covid-19-symptoms-paul-garner








1 May, 2020

List of all states and their projected opening from lockdowns:
https://www.usatoday.com/story/news/health/2020/04/19/coronavirus-lockdown-reopening-states-us-texas-florida/5155269002/.

https://www.cnbc.com/2020/04/30/coronavirus-states-lifting-stay-at-home-orders-reopening-businesses.html

Pushing back on lockdown:

https://thehill.com/homenews/state-watch/495743-protesters-in-at-least-10-states-demand-end-to-coronavirus-lockdown

Colorado governor: Announcing the reopening, Polis told Coloradans they were entering “the time of individual responsibility and choices,” and he trusted them to “make good choices.”
https://nationalpost.com/news/canada/like-test-dummies-colorado-is-ending-its-covid-19-lockdown-but-is-the-state-ready

Michigan is making a statement:
https://www.theguardian.com/world/video/2020/may/01/armed-protesters-michigan-state-capitol-demanding-end-to-coronavirus-lockdown-video

Italy is opening with reservations:
https://www.aljazeera.com/news/2020/05/contagion-risk-remains-high-italy-ready-reopen-200501171703457.html

Herd immunity seems to be a difficult definition which includes both natural immunity and vaccine-induced immunity.

https://www.nytimes.com/2020/05/01/opinion/coronavirus-herd-immunity.html
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/11078115

Why...is the news not bombarded with ways to raise individual immunity?  That seems to me to be the bottom line for fighting ANY bacteria or virus?  To be as healthy as possible thus letting our own bodies do the job for which they are intended - and CAN do; to fight off pathogens.

YOUR THOUGHTS ??