Meatless CoViD Lasagna
INGREDIENTS
-8 rolls toilet paper (the stronger,
off-brands are better)
-1 container anti-bacterial wipes (ANY
brand Amazon has left)
-small roll paper towels
-5 small bottles alcohol (currently
large bottles are bought by local hospitals to clean their light
bulbs, underneath stairwells and the underside of rain gutters)
-tomato sauce (or ketsup)
-beans (all dates prior to 1975 are
safe/ CoViD FREE!)
-9 cloves garlic (best from your own
garden; ensure your neighbor has NOT coughed on the plants)
-onions
-Parmesan cheese
-small spray bottle
************************
Undo all rolls of TP; spray BOTH SIDES
with alcohol till moist. Hang on shower rod or clothesline (only if
clothesline is at LEAST 6 feet from edge of property) to dry
completely. Sometimes takes a week or more in wet environments.
Take half of package of antibacterial
wipes; clean BOTH sides of paper towels for at least 20 seconds to
ensure lack of possible viral remains!
If you can't find tomato sauce on the
shelves in your local grocery, usually ketchup will work. Just make
sure you held back a few antibacterial wipes to thoroughly wipe ALL
surfaces of the ketchup bottle (for at LEAST 20 seconds) to ensure
SAFETY!
Fry up onions till black –
CoVid doesn't like heat above 574 degrees.
Remove onions; wipe pan with several
antibacterial; wipes - just in case your pan hid a few of those
pretty purple things with the little protrusions all around them. One cannot be TOO safe these days.
Rinse black onion remains with alcohol;
set aside. (alcohol evaporates; let them dry)
Alternately layer toilet paper and paper towels with
Parmesan cheese sparingly; there may not be any
more containers available till mid summer, and beans.
Top with tomato sauce. Or ketsup. And a few more
crumbles of Parmesan.
Lastly, spray top of finished Lasagna
(and entire Lasagna pain including underneath) with alcohol spray. Several people have
used diluted spray and remained CoVid-free. A personal choice.
Bake at LEAST 5 hours at a minimum of
500 degrees to ensure there are NO SURVIVING CoVid particles. They
are pretty tough little guys. After all, they encircled an ENTIRE
PLANET...in 6 weeks.
Let cool, at least 6 feet from any
other food.
Soak all eating utensils in remaining
alcohol for at least – 8 hours. (over nite is safer)
Wash hands between EACH BITE; SAFETY is
paramount!
Do NOT call urgent care IF...this meal
causes stomach cramps. Health care workers have more important 'fish
to fry'! (They probably don't like Lasagna anyway. At least not the
CoVid version.)
Incinerate any Lasagna remains – just
in case you were BREATHING when you were eating.
Enjoy.
NATURE PREVAILS!!
